Bathrooms

A top bathroom is rated on several factors: personality, cleanliness, art, privacy, and coolness. This rating stands apart from the actual venue, but adds significant life quality for all patrons.

1. Local Goodness. This is a restaurant/music venue between Gordonsville and Charlottesville. Their bathroom is, as described by the woman behind the counter, “more like a sauna”. Shortly beyond the first “bathroom door” there is an open, heated room leading to a unisex bathroom. Inside, the darkened room is lit by a string of twinkling lights that reflect two opposite-facing mirrors. On the other side of the toilet are two enormous googly-eyes with no other facial components. Perfect for taking pictures, thinking about your future, and napping.

2. Millers (upstairs). If you want to read the writing on the wall, this is the place to go. The fact the bathroom is slanted into a corner also provides a mirror-house effect when drunk. While it could have more privacy, the music blocks out any potential noise. Also, sometimes people write important messages on the toilet paper. Perfect for texting, finding your ex’s number, and avoiding people you don’t want to see.

3. Alamo DraftHouse. There are multiple stalls to choose from, but hardly anyone there on a Tuesday afternoon. If you are unsure which movie you’d like to see, stay in any stall for fifteen minutes. You will hear reviews of at least two movies every hour on the hour. Perfect for eavesdropping on the latest gossip about that guy who works with that other guy you kind of know through poker, eating food you snuck in from home, and playing Words With Friends.

4. Fleurie. The colors alone are worth a trip to this bathroom. With a handsome almost-floor-to-ceiling mirror this also makes for a great photo-op. At least three people can comfortably fit in the room (no stalls necessary) and the lighting will always make you look good. Minimal decor and artwork, but the space radiates "calm and controlled". Perfect for vaping, purging, and/or a quick breather.

5. Doodles Diner. This is a no-frills experience with some wise advice written on the walls. Several needle-pointed signs will explain to you the meaning of life in under two minutes flat. Aphorisms such as "Patience is a virtue" or "Home is where you lay your hat" can really remind you of why you decided to get out of the house. The lighting is bright yet honest, and there’s just enough room to feel safe but not trapped. Perfect for, well, using the bathroom.